Safe for me means being welcomed, feeling free to express myself, without the fear of any threat or judgment. I am a male classical dancer and was always criticised and ridiculed for doing a dance form that is “for girls”. The critique and ridicule took many forms, sometimes resulting in being excluded from sports (which resulted in me being very bad at it and never even trying it), sometimes some indirect behaviours and most often direct verbal ridicule. What led me to feel unsafe in sharing who I am, like first thinking a lot before telling someone I am a classical dancer, resisting being too “real me”. 

But over the course of my childhood and still now, I am beginning to heal from the trauma these unsafe environments gave me. One of the big reasons for this heal is the safe spaces and inclusive people I met through my work and education. The initial safe space I found was one of my teachers, with whom I felt safe, as they listened to me and even supported me in managing logistics for my dance competitions. Later, this confidence encouraged me to build a safe space through a folk dance group that I and one of my friend, Sudeshna, started together. Through the folk dance group, I felt safe as I was teaching dance to pre-teen boys who, due to their social environment, felt dance like mine was feminine, but still decided to push those thoughts aside, and without ridiculing the art form or me, they learnt the form. And this dedication even gave us recognition in different inter-school competitions.

Later, I decided to expand the project, converting it into Project Akriti, teaching students about Indian Classical Dance forms at an even larger space. And to fuel this idea, I went to Teach For India’s institute as a student intern and there I found inclusivity at its core. I finally found a space where I didn’t have to think about my impression on others, once I could be how I wanted, and all respected and appreciated it. I also learnt the core values to make someone feel safe: Intentionality, Openness to diverse and opposing thoughts & Mutual Respect.

Intentionality is being conscious of your actions while being yourself so that you don’t hurt other individuals, their feelings or their beliefs. Maybe what they think is negative, but rather than giving them a harsher lesson, talk with ease.

And when you talk with ease, also be open to listening to their views and beliefs. You are not there to diminish their belief and establish your own; you are there to have a meaningful conversation when you both gain something out of it.

What comes with openness to listen and understand is mutual respect. When you have respect for an individual, not to honour them but as a human being, they would feel safe and have that same respect for you. This mutual respect is the key to a safe space.

Child Safety is an essential thing. When a child feels safe, they will gain the necessary skills, like confidence, that will enable them to be a better leader in future. And a safe childhood leads to assurance that the child will make a safe space for others in their whole life. When I reflection my journey from being in a safe space to now leading safe spaces through roles like student mentor and even just in normal life, I think this heals me. I always had a fear in attending a traditional university due to the unsafe environment they have but after a lot of complication I ended up attending one of them, I feel that is time for me to create more safe spaces and at the same time heal from the trauma I had.